Returning to America
Lately I have been feeling down about returning to America. This has nothing to do with the current state of things there as much as my desperation to line up a job for my return; a search that has been fruitless as no one is willing to interview me from across the ocean. At this point I'm trying to be creative in my job search: I'm thinking of applying to a one room school house that names "trailer hook up" as one of its perks. I may send in an application to Best Buy next. Yet, in the spirit of things, and to pump myself up about being unemployed and homeless, I have compiled a list of things I am looking forward to in American culture:
1. Buying things in bulk. I can't wait to get a 36 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and a small trunk full of q-tips in one shopping trip.
2. Pedestrians having the right-of-way (actually this is just a small part of the idea of the ability to sue someone if they cause me any pain or inconvenience).
3. Internet dating (where I can pretend that I'm not living on a couch and trick someone into going on a date with me).
4. Not being charged to use my own ATM
5. Free nights and weekend on a cell phone plan (note: procure plan, procure cell phone).
6. Personal space i.e. the woman behind me in the supermarket will not have her breasts supported by my shoulder.
7. Noise violations (God bless neighbors who call the police at 10pm if you're watching a DVD above minimum volume).
8. Book stores that sell books not written by Danielle Steele or Michael Crichton.
9. Hummers (just kidding)
9. Football and middle-aged men wearing a hat that dispenses beer.
10. Buying a drink and not having to pay for each item separately i.e. not a coke and a shot of rum.
11. Hole in the wall Mexican restaurants
12. 24 hour convenience stores
13. Celebrity gossip (kidding)
13. Actually, who am I kidding....celebrity gossip (I'm soooooooo behind on what Paris Hilton is up to)
14. Take-out coffee shops
15. Shoes in sizes I understand
16. Reclaiming names: goodbye coriander, baby marrow, brinjals, and rubbers. Welcome back cilantro, zucchini, egg plant, and erasers.
17. Videos you can rent for longer than a day.
18. Customer Service
19. Glutinous showers
20. Good pickles
21. Mall guards who don't carry around AK-47s
1. Buying things in bulk. I can't wait to get a 36 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and a small trunk full of q-tips in one shopping trip.
2. Pedestrians having the right-of-way (actually this is just a small part of the idea of the ability to sue someone if they cause me any pain or inconvenience).
3. Internet dating (where I can pretend that I'm not living on a couch and trick someone into going on a date with me).
4. Not being charged to use my own ATM
5. Free nights and weekend on a cell phone plan (note: procure plan, procure cell phone).
6. Personal space i.e. the woman behind me in the supermarket will not have her breasts supported by my shoulder.
7. Noise violations (God bless neighbors who call the police at 10pm if you're watching a DVD above minimum volume).
8. Book stores that sell books not written by Danielle Steele or Michael Crichton.
9. Hummers (just kidding)
9. Football and middle-aged men wearing a hat that dispenses beer.
10. Buying a drink and not having to pay for each item separately i.e. not a coke and a shot of rum.
11. Hole in the wall Mexican restaurants
12. 24 hour convenience stores
13. Celebrity gossip (kidding)
13. Actually, who am I kidding....celebrity gossip (I'm soooooooo behind on what Paris Hilton is up to)
14. Take-out coffee shops
15. Shoes in sizes I understand
16. Reclaiming names: goodbye coriander, baby marrow, brinjals, and rubbers. Welcome back cilantro, zucchini, egg plant, and erasers.
17. Videos you can rent for longer than a day.
18. Customer Service
19. Glutinous showers
20. Good pickles
21. Mall guards who don't carry around AK-47s
posted by Cait at 10:30 AM
2 Comments:
Don't be surprised that, when home, you find yourself missing what you had in South Africa.
The transition time of feeling like you don't really belong or fit anywhere is always interesting.
hey sweetie, don't push yourself too fast when you get home!!!
i really wanted to get to work, because that was what i had to do, but then found myself afraid of children, and having panic attacks at the supermarket. it was crazy, i felt like i was going crazy. take so time, don't push yourself too fast!!
call me when you get home, and of course holly. i am so prooud of you, and i hope to see you in november!!
carrie
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