Mapula in the City
For the first time, I visited Mapula in Pretoria. I can easily see that living in a big city is not in her comfort zone. One of the things I have noticed about Mapula is how much coming from a village has played a role in the way she now reacts to her new life in Pretoria. I see her confining herself to a very small circle; not particularly willing to step out of the comfort zone she regularly inhabits. I do understand this because I do the same thing in the village- not really diverging my running paths, using the same stores, often avoiding people I’m not familiar with, etc. Perhaps I didn’t notice how much I did this until I noticed Mapula doing it.
I think one of the things about the whole situation that really strikes me is the fact that I know Pretoria better than Mapula, and have been more places than she has even though I’ve only spent an accumulated two weeks there and she has now lived there for about 9 months. When I was there I wanted her to meet me at a particular mall which was easy for us to both get to, but which she really didn’t want to go to since she had never been there before. I didn’t want to try and find her apartment on my own as it was in a part of town that’s not the safest, and I wasn’t comfortable going there alone, especially since there were a lot of drunk people out on account of the football match that was taking place. Eventually, I did convince her to come out but only once her boyfriend agreed to accompany her.
After we met up we walked back to her flat which turns out to be very close to the Peace Corps office. The fact that she could walk to the mall where we met (which she hadn’t done she’d taken a taxi) yet had never been to the area struck me as odd. It soon became evident that she spent most of her time either in her flat or in the library, and thus I immediately realized why she was so miserable in Pretoria. She really didn’t have any friends and hadn’t made any real effort to get involved with anything. She didn’t particularly get along with her flat mates which seemed to have a lot to do with her being antisocial. In fact, it seemed she spent most of her time simply sitting in her room.
After feeling really critical of her behavior I started thinking about myself. More often than not, how much time do I spend alone reading, writing, or knitting in my room? Which villagers do I try to make friends with and hang out with? After all, besides my family and the children, I really don’t spend much time with anyone in my village, especially anyone near my age. A lot of it has to do with language barriers but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I don’t seek out people and seemingly many are intimidated by me to ask for my company.
Am I really that different from Mapula? Am I really the own cause of my loneliness much of the time? How far can I push my comfort zone so I feel a part of my village? Will I always feel like an outsider?
I think one of the things about the whole situation that really strikes me is the fact that I know Pretoria better than Mapula, and have been more places than she has even though I’ve only spent an accumulated two weeks there and she has now lived there for about 9 months. When I was there I wanted her to meet me at a particular mall which was easy for us to both get to, but which she really didn’t want to go to since she had never been there before. I didn’t want to try and find her apartment on my own as it was in a part of town that’s not the safest, and I wasn’t comfortable going there alone, especially since there were a lot of drunk people out on account of the football match that was taking place. Eventually, I did convince her to come out but only once her boyfriend agreed to accompany her.
After we met up we walked back to her flat which turns out to be very close to the Peace Corps office. The fact that she could walk to the mall where we met (which she hadn’t done she’d taken a taxi) yet had never been to the area struck me as odd. It soon became evident that she spent most of her time either in her flat or in the library, and thus I immediately realized why she was so miserable in Pretoria. She really didn’t have any friends and hadn’t made any real effort to get involved with anything. She didn’t particularly get along with her flat mates which seemed to have a lot to do with her being antisocial. In fact, it seemed she spent most of her time simply sitting in her room.
After feeling really critical of her behavior I started thinking about myself. More often than not, how much time do I spend alone reading, writing, or knitting in my room? Which villagers do I try to make friends with and hang out with? After all, besides my family and the children, I really don’t spend much time with anyone in my village, especially anyone near my age. A lot of it has to do with language barriers but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that I don’t seek out people and seemingly many are intimidated by me to ask for my company.
Am I really that different from Mapula? Am I really the own cause of my loneliness much of the time? How far can I push my comfort zone so I feel a part of my village? Will I always feel like an outsider?
posted by Cait at 9:30 AM
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