Gender

Part of my week and half of training included a three day seminar on Life Skills training. One of the objectives of the session was to learn to facilitate an activity, and me being the obvious feminist that I am, predictably chose gender roles. As Caitlin said:
“Hey do you want me to sign you up for something?”
“Sure.”
“Let me guess….gender roles.”

We began the session by discussing what each person’s sex was, followed by what their gender was. We followed this by handing out cards that contained words such as violence, nurse, asks for sex, religious, money, power, etc. The group, comprised of approximately 30 people half of whom were American and half South African, had to put their words under the headings entitled male or female. In the end the stereotypical roles fell under their stereotypical category, which lead to some obvious debate. Did women have to raise the children? Were men the only one who could earn a living? Who was the real leader of the family?

Generally, when a group of South Africans and Americans get together the Americans dominate the interaction. This seems to be for a number of reasons, to begin with the interaction often takes place in English making us immediately more comfortable with language usage. In addition, Americans in general tend to be dominating as we have less regard for the roles of respect and submission. Yet, in this case, the South Africans were very adamant about achieving their say in the matter. As a woman I so often push for equality but what I noticed was that didn’t seem the actuality of what all women wanted. The American women and men as well as the South African men were obstinate about the fact that both men and women were capable of playing each role, but the South African women seemed less comfortable with the idea of taking leadership and other stereotypical male attitudes.

Our next activity split the group into four subgroups: South African men, South African women, American women, and American men. Each group was given a chart to fill out entitled on one side Male and on the other Female. In it they were supposed to place their groups perceived gender roles. Deliberately the activity was given little direction in order to make it as interpretive as possible. The following was the result:

South African Women
Male
Leaders
Digging Graves
Power
Work (salary)
Control
Strength
Security

Female
Raising Children
Cooking
Cleaning House
Beauty
Family Decisions
Chopping Wood
Fetching Water
Serving Others
Community Development
Social Worker

*When the South African women discussed their chart they spent a long time defining the reasons they placed each word under the “male” category but the “female” category seemed to be a given for them. I found it especially interesting that they put “Leaders” and “Strength” on the “male” side while at the same time putting “Family Decisions” and “Community Development” on their own without seeing the implications/relationships.

South African Men

Male
Law Enforcement
Doing General Repairs
Meet the needs of family
Man builds house

Female
Acts as manager
House chores
Raising children
Women build a home

*I found it intriguing that the South African men really paused to deliberate gender roles. They did not come up with many examples as their group was encompassed in debate for much of the activity. It was interesting to see that they came up with the idea that men were to provide the house but it wasn’t a home unless the women created the atmosphere.

American Women

Male
Breadwinner
Rational
Many partner= prowess
Never asks for directions
Pursuer/Predator
In business/money making
Assertive/Aggressive
Hard

Female
Caregivers/Nurturing
Emotional
Use a map
Verbal
Many partner=whore
Damsel in Distress
Civil service/People Oriented
Compromise
Soft

*The females made a point of saying that they saw these as the stereotypical roles and didn’t agree with them all. Though we may argue against the extreme stereotyping of gender roles in South Africa they are still alive in America as well.

American Men

Male

Female

*The American men decided to be coy and leave their paper blank to show that gender roles were perceptions and contextual and therefore could not be defined.

In the end the group came up with the following conclusions:
*In South Africa there is a focus on “respect of role” while in America the focus is more primarily “respect of individual.”
*Women who have grown up in the village don’t questions their roles out of respect for elders. I think non-questioning may also be a side-effect of the apartheid era.
*American women are at a definite crossroads regarding gender roles. Many want all the benefits of equality while still receiving the benefits of chivalry: free dinners, opened doors, free drinks.
*American men are confused with their own roles as society shifts. In the presence of women they often don’t know how to act as one woman may expect certain things: dinner, flowers, etc and another woman may be offended by the same offerings.
*The more education someone receives the more roles change due to the fact that more opportunities are available and often more critical thinking of current situations takes place.

All in all the session made me aware of a lot I wasn’t before. I notice in my host sisters their growing annoyance at doing all the work while the boys sit under the tree or watch TV. There is a subtle shift going on as more opportunities are afforded and Western culture gains a greater hold in the scheme of things.